Who says English is EASY?
Don’t believe them!
Fill in the blank with either YES or NO:
“Oh ___, I’m a monkey!”
See how difficult it is?
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHA
LOL!!!
(Source: perfectlyinlove03)
interlude.. are you having fun?
RSS
An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the problem Science has with God. He asked one of his new Christian students to stand.
- Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
- Student: Yes, sir.
- Professor: So, you believe in God?
- Student: Absolutely, sir.
- Professor: Is God good?
- Student: Sure.
- Professor: My brother died of cancer, even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is God good, then? Hmm?
- (Student was silent)
- Professor: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?
- Student: Yes.
- Professor: Is Satan good?
- Student: No.
- Professor: Where does Satan come from?
- Student: From.. God.
- Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
- Student: Yes.
- Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?
- Student: Yes.
- Professor: So who created evil?
- (Student didn’t answer)
- Professor: Is there sickness? Immortality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
- Student: Yes, sir.
- Professor: So, who created them?
- (Student had no answer)
- Professor: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son.. have you ever seen God?
- Student: No, sir.
- Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your God.
- Student: No, sir.
- Professor: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God, for that matter?
- Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
- Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
- Student: Yes.
- Professor: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, Science says your God doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
- Student: Nothing. I only have my Faith.
- Professor: Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
- Student: Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
- Professor: Yes.
- Student: And is there such a thing as Cold?
- Professor: Yes.
- Student: No, sir, there isn’t.
- (The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)
- Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of Heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
- (There was a pon-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre)
- Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
- Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
- Student: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light… But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called Darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, You would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
- Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?
- Student: Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
- Professor: Flawed? Can you explain how?
- Student: Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
- Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes of course, I do.
- Student: Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
- (The professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)
- Student: Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
- (The class was in uproar)
- Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
- (The class broke out into laughter)
- Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? .. No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable and Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures?
- (The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)
- Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son.
- Student: That is it, sir.. exactly! The link between man and God is Faith. That is all that keeps things alive and moving!
- ----------------------------------------------------
- That student was Albert Einstein.
(Source: fantabulowesome)
Black Family Tree
The awesome Aunty
The cool Uncle
The retarded Cousin
The retarded cousin’s friend
And the dog.
Reblogged from yourinfectioussmile
(Source: howling-lights)
VICE GANDA JOKE!
- (Nakakita siya ng guwapo, di nakapagpigil)
- Vice: Hi, ano pangalan mo?
- Gwapo: Ako po?
- Vice: Hindi sila, may nakikita ka pa bang tao? Malamang ikaw, ang tanga.
- (Sa gasoline station, pagbaba nya ng window)
- Gas boy: Magpapagas po?
- Vice: Hindi magpapaconfine ako. Malamang magpapagas, gasolinahan ‘to 'di ba? Alangan magpaconfine ako dito, tapos dextrose ko 'yung unleaded gasoline niyo, at ayun na yung ikakamatay ko.
- (Sumakay siya ng jeep na walang laman papuntang palengke)
- Vice: Manong bayad po.
- Manong1: Ilan ‘to?
- Vice: Ay manong dalawa yan, nakakahiya kasi sayo, kahit ako lang mag-isa sakay mo, dalawa na ibabayad ko, libre na kita kahit sayo 'tong jeep.
- (Bababa na sya)
- Vice: Manong, para.
- Manong1: Bababa ka na?
- Vice: Ay hindi manong, sasakay ako. Sasakay ako ulit, dun naman ako sa bubong, mas presko kasi dun.
- (2nd attempt)
- Vice: Para ho.
- Manong1: Dyan ba sa tabi?
- Vice: Ay hindi manong. Dun ako sa gitna, sa gitna para masagasaan ako.
- (Binaba siya sa gitna)
- Vice mabundol ng isa pang jeep…
- Manong2: Nasaktan ka ba?
- Vice: (naasar) Ay hindi, nag-enjoy ako. Ulitin natin, bunguin mo pa. Isa pa! Dali! Ang sarap kasi! Nakabundol ka tapos itatanong mo kung masakit? Ikaw kaya bundulin ko? Tapos i-share mo skin feelings mo, kaya na-enjoy mo, sige magbungguan tayo. Laruin natin, ipauso natin, bunggu-bungguan.
Anak Ka Ng Ina Mo - The SERIES x Kiray vs Vice Ganda(3)
Another Joke From Vice Ganda
- Sa Opisina.
- vice: pasok mo nga dito yung mga papeles ko..
- assistance: ser saan ko ipapasok , dito sa loob"?
- vice: hinde sa labas, ipasok nga diba.pwede bang ipasok sa labas, sige nga subukang mong ipasok doon sa labas
- Another Day
- Kararating Lang sa Opis..
- assistance: hi. good morning po ser nandito na po pala kayo
- vice: hinde wala pa, picture ko lang toh, hindi pa ako to
- Naospital yung pamangkin, kasi buntis (dinugo)...
- pumuntang emergency
- vice: nurse tulong!!
- nurse: ano pong nangyayari? manganganak?
- vice: ay hinde. ipapatira ko pa lang.dinudugo na nga diba. syempre manganganak na
- 2nd Attempt
- vice: bilisan mo na
- nurse: ano pong gusto niyo? tawagin ko si dok?
- vice: hinde ako na kaya ko na toh!!!,doon na lang kayo, baka nakakaabala pa ako sa inyo!!
- 3rd Attempt
- tagal ng doctor..
- vice: yung ulo ng bata lumabas na!!
- nurse: (nagtatakbo) ay ano yan ulo ng bata?
- vice: hindi ulo ng tite ng bata..bwiset
- Patay Tatay:
- vice: umiiyak sa harap ng kabao ng tatay
- dumating si bestfriend, hinimas-himas yung likod ni vice
- bestfiend: uy, okey ka lang?
- vice: ikaw hayop ka, patayin ko tatay mo? okey ka lang!!!!
- vice: tarantado ka tatay ko nasa kabao, tapos tatanungin mo ko kung okey ka lang!!!
- vice: okey lang ako, ako pumatay eh..bigtime! success patay na eh.. nasan tatay mo sunod na naten?!!! para okey ka den
About interlude.. are you having fun?
tall dark and nevermind :)
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